27/02/2013
In todays lesson we recieved feedback for our first draft of the opening thriller scene that we created. We recieved points for areas of which we did well and our work was a success, we also recieved some improvement points, which we should include in order to put our overall grade my severals marks.
Success's:
- Excellent film production titles that look very professional.
- An original idea and i like the nod to the gangster genre - this gives your opening another dimension.
- Some excellent shots and composition, which show a real craft and eye for camera.
Improvements:
- Titles- director shouldn't come first. Also, make sure that you have the full names.
- Your work will need to re-scripting and development.
- The shot in the car is great; however, the camera was handheld and wobbly. This needs to be re-shot so that it is still.
- Far too long, going well over allotted time of two minutes.
- Sound and music - some of the music ended quite abruptly and needs to fade in. Needs to be more layers to your music to build tension.
- Lighting in David's house changes - becomes darker. Do you film this on different days and times? Does not maintain continuity.
- The ending scenes - you need to be more subtle, leave more to the imagination.
We then as a group started to discuss and mind map ways in which we can improve our work, we tried to come up with new points as well as the improvements given by our teacher.
As a group we decided that it was important to improve our thriller opening in an attempt to make our work more understanding and clearer to the audience. For example, there is no real reason as to why the Boss, wants Frank to kill his best friend, and the ending of our work seems amateur and rushed. To correct this it was felt that we should go back into the past of Frank's life as stated by him before, in order to give the audience a complete idea of his past, and then whilst we do this we can also incorporate and establish a relationship between Frank and The Boss.
We then as a group started to discuss and mind map ways in which we can improve our work, we tried to come up with new points as well as the improvements given by our teacher.
As a group we decided that it was important to improve our thriller opening in an attempt to make our work more understanding and clearer to the audience. For example, there is no real reason as to why the Boss, wants Frank to kill his best friend, and the ending of our work seems amateur and rushed. To correct this it was felt that we should go back into the past of Frank's life as stated by him before, in order to give the audience a complete idea of his past, and then whilst we do this we can also incorporate and establish a relationship between Frank and The Boss.
Great Work
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